I'm too beautiful to be stuck with him?

My husband is a fat, sorry, man-babby that has no talent, no skills and a job that barely supports me and leaves enough money left over for casino entertainment. That sorry slob promised me when we got married he would take care of me so I quit my job and he has been working at the same place as a darn toll booth attendant for over ten years now. He comes home all blubbering and whining cause I don't leave any supper for him but, hey, he should make more money is the way I see it. Then when we fight sometimes he gets all scared when I grab a ball bat and he actually wets himself. This miserable person actually digs through the garbage and eats my leftovers every night. What kind of 'man' does that?? He must weigh over 400 pounds so I don't know what the heck he eats all day cause I don't allow him to have any money. Do you know he got arrested for digging change out of the fountain at the mall one day? I've been considering having an affair. I'm still young and beautiful and he only drags me down. I figure I'd better start dating other men so I can get some nice gifts and hot loving -- I'll NEVER get any from my worthless husband. Do you gals ever cheat to get nice presents? How do I start?